We’re coming to the end of International Babywearing Week 2018 and I couldn’t let the occasion go without marking it. For the past year, babywearing has been a big part of my life. I spent a lot of my pregnancy researching different slings to find the best one for my situation and have fallen head over heels with the babywearing community since Elise was born. There are so many fantastic things about babywearing and there will be many, many babywearing posts coming in the next few years. The topic for International Babywearing Week 2018, is ‘Babywearing Has…’ so in today’s post, I’m going to tell you about some of the things babywearing has done for our family.
Babywearing Has… Allowed Me To Be Independent
Probably the most obvious one, babywearing has allowed me to go out independently with Elise as a wheelchair user.
Babywearing Has… Given Me Confidence
This goes hand in hand with babywearing allowing me to be independent. The confidence I’ve gained from being able to go out on my own with Elise has been immense. I took her to Naidex before she was 6 weeks old, which involved managing a wheelchair and a baby on two trains and a bus just to get to the venue!
Babywearing Has… Been Empowering
As well as giving me the confidence to go out and about with Elise, babywearing has empowered me as a mother. It’s helped me deal with the typical judgmental comments that new Mum’s get. Like the “you know you have to feed them, right?” that one woman thought was appropriate to say at the supermarket checkout. Having Elise against my chest reassured me that I was doing my best for my baby. That she was safe, loved and cared for. It helped remind me that other people don’t know her like I do and helped me trust my motherly instincts (babywearing probably helped those develop too!).
Babywearing has also allowed me to retain part of ‘me’. With Elise wrapped to my chest, I can do most of the things that I did before having her. The only thing so far that I haven’t been able to do but wanted to, was attend the local orchestra’s concert which Dan was playing in. While it wouldn’t have been appropriate to take a baby to the concert, we turned up at the end to meet everyone.
Babywearing Has… Got Us Through Difficult Times
From Elise’s cow’s milk protein allergy (CMPA) to my unmedicated PMS causing or exacerbating PTSD type symptoms, babywearing has really helped both Elise and me get through some difficult times. For her, it’s been a place to feel safe – snuggled up against my chest, skin to skin and hearing my heart beat. For me, it’s given me a focus to help me get through the day. Researching different carries, wraps, blends, gsm, etc.
Babywearing Has… Given Me Friendships
Both online and in real life, babywearing has given me friendships, a sense of community and a common interest with other parents and primary care givers. Regardless of parenting styles and choices, the groups and people I’ve come across through babywearing have largely been hugely supportive! You get the odd one or two who aren’t, but that’s going to be true of any group of people. I’ve made some great friends through babywearing hashtags on Instagram, Facebook groups and recently attending a sling library.
The friendships I have made through babywearing have also helped me get through difficult times.
Babywearing Has… At Times Been Frustrating
I’m not going to lie, at times babywearing has been frustrating. Not being able to get to a sling library during pregnancy, or the first 5 months of Elise’s life has made finding the best option for us a challenge. I turned to the internet for help and advice, but found it challenging when people were commenting having not read my question properly. When you’ve already said that you can’t get to a sling library it’s really frustrating to have at least 1/3 of the comments suggest you go to a sling library! I’ve even had one person tell me that I should try buckles, as she can’t feel buckles digging into her back her [spinal chord] injury level. As I’m sure you’re all aware, I have hEDS. A condition I’ve seen referred to as ‘princess and the pea syndrome’ because of our heightened sensation. Not forgetting that because of my bendy fingers, I’d struggle to undo a buckle!
The frustration hasn’t just been the result of people (who I know are trying to help) being unhelpful. There’s a definite learning curve with tying a stretchy or woven wrap and at times I’ve found this frustrating. Particularly during Elise’s CMPA challenges – wrapping a screaming, writhing baby is REALLY hard!
But, these challenges and frustrations have made the triumphs even greater. They’ve also spurred me on to support other parents on their babywearing journey. I hope to have some exciting news on this in the near future.
Babywearing Has… Allowed Me To Learn New Skills
Though my babywearing journey is still in it’s infancy, it’s allowed me to learn new skills. I’ve learnt so much about different fabrics, different wrap qualities, different carries for wrapping a baby, different knots, the origins and history of babywearing, appropriate use of language, babies physiology and more! I hope to continue to learn new skills and be able to share these with other parents.
Babywearing Has… Allowed Me To Do Some Exciting Things
From meeting new people, travelling independently and working with some fantastic companies, babywearing has allowed me to so some amazing things. We’ve been to London and Birmingham multiple times and been on our first holiday (check out our Center Parcs vlog). We’ve also got a number of exciting things coming up, that are only possible thanks to babywearing (and having a SmartDrive), including attending Midlands Baby Carrying Convention next weekend!
Babywearing has… Given Elise A Safe Place To Explore The World From
One of my favourite things about babwearing is that I’ve been able to watch Elise explore the world from the comfort and safety of my chest. She’s interested in everything and every one! And when she get’s tired, the wrap and my chest provide her with a safe place to snuggle into for a much needed sleep.
Babywearing Has… Helped Me Change People’s Perceptions About Disability (I hope!)
Dan has commented on how many strange looks I get when people see Elise and me out and about. He’s described it as a look of confusion. I hope that by being not only visible, but also visibly independent, I’m able to challenge people’s preconceptions about disability and parenting.
Babywearing has been an amazing experience for Elise, Dan and me. But it doesn’t stop there – our friends and family have benefited from it too – my sister enjoys wearing Elise and we’re able to go out to see people thanks to babywearing. I believe that babywearing has also contributed to Elise being a happy, settled baby (when she isn’t reacting to her milk!).
What has babywearing done for you and your family?
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